You really can't make this stuff up . . .

[lumineaux]

St. Gall: patron saint of poultry http://www.catholic-forum.com/saints/saintg13.htm

St. Neot: patron saint of fish http://www.catholic-forum.com/saints/saintn45.htm

St. Ulric: invoked for protection against moles (the animals, that is) http://www.catholic-forum.com/saints/saintu02.htm

St. Alban of Mainz: patron saint of gravel and kidney stones http://www.catholic-forum.com/saints/saintn45.htm

St. Bibiana: invoked to cure hangovers http://www.catholic-forum.com/saints/saintb17.htm

St. Timothy: patron saint of intestinal disorders and stomach diseases http://www.catholic-forum.com/saints/saintt25.htm

St. Foillan: patron saint of dentists and truss makers http://www.catholic-forum.com/saints/saintf60.htm

St. Nicholas of Myra: patron saint of unjustly lost lawsuits http://www.catholic-forum.com/saints/saintn01.htm

St. Drogo, who clearly was out for Cheetos when the jobs were being given out, is the patron saint of: bodily ills, broken bones, cattle, coffee house keepers, coffee house owners, deaf people, deafness, dumbness, gall stones, hernias, illness, insanity, mental illness, mentally ill people, midwives, mute people, muteness, mutes, orphans, ruptures, sheep, shepherds, sick people, sickness, and ugly people http://www.catholic-forum.com/saints/saintd17.htm

Comments

[math5.livejournal.com]

But coffee too...
http://www.theroasterie.com/outreach/costarica.asp

[lumineaux.livejournal.com]

Well, these are all medieval saints. They had a lot more time on their hands back then, I suppose. What else was there to do as a celibate man during long winter nights in medieval Rome, except come up with crazy new saints? :-)

[katnboots.livejournal.com]

I'm still satisfied that the same dood covers haemorrhoids and taxi drivers.

This was another topic of conversation with Sister Rolled-Up Newspaper: How, as a Saint, do you get stuck with the job of managing haemorrhoids and taxi drivers? You must be a schmuck, you know? You must not be very popular at the office. And one day they stick you with syphilis and the clap, too. Now that's just rude. Maybe these are even "created jobs". Perhaps "Eden" means "no bad jobs", but some of the Saints or Angels copped an attitude, or sued for coffee burns, or something, and these jobs were created for their torment. This would mean: All the world's unpleasantness was born out of administrative spite...

-Sister Whip

[oaken-glen.livejournal.com]

*laugh*

I can hear the conversation now:

Patronage Assigner:

"You know, Fiacre me and a few of the other Angels were discussing what you should be the patron Saint of. We thought about making you the Patron Saint of newborn babies or possibly puppies and kittens. But, you have proven yourself to be a supreme asshole. And for that, we've decided that you should not only be the Patron Saint of hemorrhoids but of all the veneral diseases as well. We'll throw in a few things to offset the VD and hemorrhoids but that's all. Don't piss us off any more, or you won't like what else we come up with."

[lumineaux.livejournal.com]

Personally, though, I think being patron saint of gravel is a little more demeaning. At least, with the VD, you'll get some interesting stories. With gravel? Not so much.

[oaken-glen.livejournal.com]

At least gravel has some sort of usefulness. I don't know of anyone that's been excited over receiving a ripping case of the clap. Heh.

How bout this guy:

http://www.catholic-forum.com/saints/sainta23.htm

Mmm...patron saint of vintners, wine merchanges, bartenders....